My personal journey (by Asimo)
I began walking on the path toward self realization some time ago. The thirst to know the truth and understand suffering guided me to Osho. In His eyes I saw and felt the unconditional love that would support me on the Path; in His presence I experienced my essential self and the beauty of reality, although I was not mature enough to recognize it as such. I learned that the experiences perceived at the feet of the Master have to be considered neither a temporary nor a permanent self achivement, but a gift, an invitation to head toward what has been tasted.
So I started on my growth process by practicing meditations and attending courses and retreats, setting my life in the service of realizing myself and knowing the secrets of existence.
Many times in Osho’s presence I had glimpses of the inner Light, my consciousness would expand beyond the universe in a state of bliss that I didn’t want it to end. The problem was it would end, encreasing my thirst, a deeper longing and a burning frustration. I did not get why those experiences would not stay; I didn’t understand the connection between my ordinary perception and those dimensions that fulfilled my life beyond words.
The reason was I was attached to the idea of being a self; so the self would have the experiences: within them I was not, but the “I” would be back as soon as I returned to my ordinary state of consciousness.
This has been the great contribution of the “Enlightenmet Intensive” in my search: it helped me to understand that my individual ordinary existence is based on emptiness. All experiences come and go, but I would stay attached to the blissful ones, rejecting the rest, not seeing that everything is part of the same entirety. In fact I was looking for a way to avoid suffering in favour of pleasure, therefore experiences would be important, not the ground underlying them, which includes both.
So I dropped being attached to experiences, they would not represent a distraction any longer, since I saw it as another way to look outside of me and started to focus on awareness only. Whether experiences are painful or pleasurable, I welcome them all, I let them stay and go. What remains is an empty space that can contain anything.
Actually every experience becomes the contrast revealing even more clearly that nature containing them, but this nature cannot be pointed at directly, it has to be grasped. It is so tremendously obvious that it is overlooked.
After my first Intensive I’ve participated to several others: twice a year I gave myself the space to plunge into self enquiry, discovering that each time Being manifests different perspectives of its potential, reflecting at the same time the life phase I’m going through. It is the one of those retreats that can always teach something new, because the nature of Being is such that can never exaust itself.
And since I myself facilitate it for other people, I’m always happy, excited and grateful for the opportunity to see the shining light in the eyes of those who recognize themselves. It gives me great joy.
My personal experience (by Renata)
What can be said about the ultimate reality?
“Nothing can be said about it. By residing in that space, the human being experiences Self and things as pure consciousness that continuously displays, renovates, expands itself in an infinite movement. Everything is perceived as intrinsically beautiful, good and right. All that is, is and nothing else. There are no more evaluations, interpretations and judgements to be made. After having gone through the thousand streams of the mind, after having recognized and allowed a thousand identifications to go, one comes to extreme simplicity: everything simply is.
In the inner reality, every aspect of the personality is recognized for what it is, discovering that all the characters of the inner dialogue have their subjective purpose, their reason to be. All are equally useful to the general psychic economy, with their own dignity: no one fights anymore and no one is fought. Everyone simply says its own and is equally listened to. All parts are being accepted.
And after they have being listened to, they have nothing more to say. The space of silence opens. That silence we have been looking for, in meditation maybe trying to turn off the mind: but it can’t be forced, it happens spontaneously only after every part, every aspect of the mind has been listened to, clarified in the light of awareness and allowed to drop.
Nothing can be said about Being: it goes beyond words, it is too simple to be expressed in words. Not even the simplest sentence would succeed in doing justice to it.
Nothing can be said, since it is so paradoxical: the word, by asserting something, would implicitly exclude something else.
Nothing can be said, but it can be explained why: it can be spoken of the fact that it cannot be described.
Nothing can be said, but a thirst can be fired up. It can be hinted, echoed, indicated at… Something can be written or read which concerns that Being, that can alight the longing, the passion for it.
It is before and after every thing: it hides within us between unexpected folds of the personality, of the ego. It is a meeting that can take place in the most improbable places.